MS-13 gang to begin recruiting Little League parents
A fight was started two weeks ago after an umpire made a controversial call in a very crucial 7-year-old Little League game. Following the call, parents of both teams began arguing, leading to a full-on brawl on the field. Since video of the event has gone viral, MS-13 has begun plans for recruiting Little League and travel ball parents to join their forces, recognizing their potential for much more violence.
“I dunno I guess I never thought they had it in ‘em,” explained one MS13 leader who goes by the name of “Chubby”, “But some of those foos can straight up throw hands. Even the hainas! It don’t even take much to set ‘em off either, you know? Like their kid could just straight up suck and they get mad at e’ryone else. That’s the kind of stuff we value. That unreasonable anger. I love that stuff.”
MS-13 is known for their violence and public cruelty. The international gang has begun going to local Little Leagues and travel tournaments, looking for potential prospects.
“Usually, we try to spot the ones with coolers. Those the ones that like to get a little crazy. If its Bud Light in that thing, we keep an eye out. If it’s Corona, we want ‘em fosho.”
Another strategy they use to find prospects is how easily the parents get angry. They’re especially looking for parents who argue balls and strikes as if they can change the call, or get angry at the umpire on a close play they can’t see clearly from the stands. The more profanity, the better as well, as that shows little respect for the kids on the field or the people around—qualities that align with MS-13 values.
This means that rather than tatted up latinos on the street corners selling dope, we might start seeing 35 year-old moms wearing baseball mom t-shirts and sunglasses. If you see anything suspicious like this in the local hood, don’t approach them (especially if you’re wearing umpiring attire). Call the local authorities and notify them immediately.